Otani's Journal
by Superchibi
Summary: Otani gets a journal, so he decides to write entries of all that's happened... this takes place in various episodes starting from the day he met Koizumi, but from Otani's point of view. -R&R would be appreciated.
1. Otani's First Few Entries

Dear JOURNAL,

Notice the JOURNAL. Not a diary! It's defenitely not a diary! Journal is more...manly...

Anyway, I've decided to keep track of some events that have happened over the past few da

---

Sorry. I fell asleep while I was writing. My sister saw me writing this and said I have a short attention span! I do not...I just got bored and fell asleep on the table, that's all. Anyway, back to the main point. As I was saying before, I've decided to keep track of some events that have happened over the past few days. I'm probably gonna continue writing entries until the journal fills up. So I'll start with yesterday.

Yesterday, I may have met the love of my life~

...

_**NOT.**_ Ha! Did I trick you for a second? I met the most annoying girl in class. The new semester just started, so I'm seeing lots of people I haven't seen before. Her name is Koizumi, and she drives me insane. It all started when I was trying to reach the school supplies that I was supposed to get for Gorilla--I mean Nakano-sensei...

So anyway, I guess it 'appeared' that I couldn't reach(but I could have if I wanted to), so Koizumi, being the amazon she is, of course could reach it. So she got it and handed it to me. Really, some nerve for a girl to do that for a man! What am I, a toddler?! Is she trying to get me to look up to her?! I mean, I could have reached that if I tried, I just wasn't trying hard enough...that's right! being a teacher's pet is uncool, right...? So ha! I was just being cool. (Editor's note: *LIE*) But she ruined it all and made me look like a toddler. Very uncool! Koizumi is so uncool...

Anyway...Nakano-sensei also has the nerve to call us 'All-Hanshin Kyojin'! Can you believe that? We aren't on some comedy talk show together, so he shouldn't talk like that!

Anyway, enough of the complaining.

I'm finally on the basketball team. That's the good news. I'm a starter now, so everyone's going to watch and learn...they're gonna learn that you don't have to be tall to be a champ!

Seeya.

- Atsushi Otani

P.S: Koizumi = amazon. Hahah.


	2. More entries

Dear Journal,

I'm starting to like the idea of a journal. I can rant without anyone saying 'Shut up already!'. I didn't know paper could be a good listener. Gah. My sister's here again. She always butts in on my entries. Now she's saying "You must be pretty desperate if you're talking to paper!" I don't get girls. She has one of those stupid diaries too...I mean, no, not that this is a diary! It's a JOURNAL, like I said...

Anyhow...today I found out that Koizumi likes Umibozu. Finally, something good about that idiot!

It's odd, but somehow I feel like talking to her is more worthwhile now. It's kinda nice, though she's a bit confusing. It's kind of like...one minute we're friends and talking like normal friends do, but the next, we're biting each other's heads off. But I think she's kind of fun to be around in an odd way...but she still irritates me. Don't get me wrong.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Guess what? I got some tickets for the Umibozu concert on Christmas. But guess who I'm going with...? KOIZUMI. And Christmas is normally a day where actual couples walk around saying "OH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" and walking side by side holding hands, and that sappy stuff is disgusting, ecspecially when it's Koizumi I'm thinking about. But never again does a thought like that enter my mind, ugh. Gross. It makes me cringe just thinking about it.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Today, something happened that was a bit unexpected. Kanzaki, my ex-girlfriend asked Nakao to tell me that the old basketball team is getting together for a Christmas party...and on the same day I said I'd go with Koizumi. Christmas day. I'm not sure what to do, because I'm considering the fact that I said I'd go with Koizumi first and I don't want to go back on my word...but Kanzaki is my ex-girlfriend, so I don't know who to go with. Oh well, I'll ponder it some more...

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Short entry because mom's nagging me to go to sleep. I've decided to go with Koizumi since I promised her first.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

I went with Koizumi to the Umibozu concert. I don't regret my decision, because

One, Umibozu was awesome.

Two, Koizumi would have been lonely all alone.

Four Three, it turns out she needed some help because her stockings ripped and her knee was bleeding.

Four (for real this time, four.) She seemed happy I was there.

I didn't regret my decision...UNTIL..._**he**_ came.

Koizumi's childhood friend. He's all girly with little earrings and makes me wanna be sick.

He just suddenly came out of nowhere and hugged Koizumi, screaming "RISAAAAAA!" and it all went downhill from there and I took the hint that I was being left out...so I just walked off and got on the train and left.

Can't write anymore. I'm pretty much half-asleep now...I could fall asleep on the table right about now. I'm really tired...goodnight.

- Atsushi Ota

---

Dear Journal,

Hah! I looked at my journal entry from yesterday and saw that I fell asleep before finishing my signature! Pretty uncool of me, I guess. FYI, my name is Otani and not Ota, thank you.

Anyway...there's an important detail I left out. Me and Koizumi challenged each other. She says she can get a boyfriend before I can get a girlfriend, and I said I can get a girlfriend before she gets a boyfriend. So if I win, she buys me basketball shoes and if she wins(which she WON'T!), I buy her whatever game she wants.  
But...looks like Koizumi's in the lead with that 'Haruka' guy...but she can't get together with him...he sickens me. He obviously takes a liking to her, but whatever. Not like I care...

- Atsushi Otani


	3. Even more entries

Dear Journal,

Today I asked Koizumi how she feels about Haruka. She says that he isn't her type...but I feel relieved somehow. Maybe it's because I truly and honestly...

...

Think Haruka's an IDIOT! The challenge would be pointless if she got an idiot like that...I mean, I guess they sort of go together because they're both idiots and they look somewhat okay together, but...it clashes. He's a different kind of idiot. He's a jerk. Koizumi may not be the kindest person in the world... (she always reminds me of my height, and it's annoying!) But I wouldn't call her a jerk.

Haruka's the cruelest person I've met in a while...he constantly throws pointless insults at me, but what did I do to deserve it? Nothing! Nothing at all! Nuffin'! Zero! Nada! Nandemonai! ...oh, you get the point.

Anyway, enough of that rant.

People continue to call us All-Hanshin Kyojin, and they clap every time we argue. It's annoying! We aren't preforming no comedy antics for them! This is serious stuff! Anyway, gonna end it here, 'night.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

I am SO shocked...this cute girl named Seiko-chan kissed me yesterday~ I must be really smooth, because I had just met her and she fell for me only two seconds after she formally introduced herself!

Then she asked if I'd go out with her, so I had to say yes.

Really, I'm good~ beat that, Koizumi. I win.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

A paralyzing shock has overcome me...cute Seiko...IS SEISHIROU!

I...won't go into detail...anymore...(shudder)

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Today, we all went to the beach for vacation. That was great...it felt nice to be in the water again.

But Koizumi, being the idiot she is, injured her foot while we were in the water. So I stayed with her on the sand for a while, but then she randomly started crying, and everyone kept on thinking it was my fault, but it wasn't, I didn't even do anything! But then we went to an Umibozu concert. It was awesome.

Today, Nobuko texted me saying it was Koizumi's birthday tomorrow...so I'm gonna give her my Umibozu CD! I painstakingly chose this gift...because it's my most prized possession...but whatever. I had nothing else to give her. But I'm going to take her up to the roof to see the fireworks too, since there happens to be fireworks tomorrow night. She'd better like it, I put a lot of thought into this...

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Koizumi loved the fireworks and the present, so it was all worth it.

Anyway, going to sleep now, short entry.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Koizumi keeps acting like I did something...when I didn't do anything. She's confusing.

You know, I'm starting to wonder if I...towards Koizumi...no...that isn't possible. My feelings are playing tricks on me.

Nothing more to write.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

I'm...overwhelmed with shock. Koizumi likes me. I mean...like-likes me...I would have never thought...

I need to think this over. I can't think straight. I don't...know how I feel...

Can't write anymore...I need to think...

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Sorry for not writing in a while.

I feel like everyone thinks I'm an awful person...maybe because I am...I don't know...

I pretty much made Koizumi completely snap...

It's the school trip right now...and I responded to Koizumi's confession. I have mixed feelings about her, you see. She's my comedy partner...so...I couldn't see her as my girlfriend...even though I think I do like her.

But...I can't get together with her...it wouldn't seem right.

She tried to completely hide it when I told her, but she was devastated. I saw her crying a lot when she got back to see Nobu and Nakao...so I feel like I shouldn't have even said anything...

I'm going to try and sleep...even though I might not be able to because I have so much on my mind...I think sleep would do me some good. I'm going to try and forget about all I said when I wake up tomorrow, because all it's doing is depressing me...goodnight.

- Atsushi Otani


	4. Continuation

Dear Journal,

I still haven't forgotten about that day...I wish it would just slip out of my mind, but it's easier said than done not to think about it. I always can't help but wonder how Koizumi's doing on the days where I don't see her...

I sit here and ponder these circumstances...and wonder if I did the right thing.

This is honestly unhealthy. Whenever I see Koizumi trying not to cry in class, I take the hint that I'm at fault for her emotional breakdown, and it makes me want to cry myself...gah! I just did something very unmanly! A tear kinda just...leaked from my eye and plopped onto my paper. So unmanly. ...Well, I guess I can say that it was...a manly tear...at least nobody saw...and this was my nice expensive journal too, and now it's getting all wet...blech, I'm sounding like a girl...! No more tears, no more tears...now I'm sounding like a girl AND a shampoo label. What's wrong with me? Manly tears disobey me and keep falling...ugh. Oh well, I'll leave my journal to dry overnight, whatever.

Koizumi's friends are all ganging up on me now. Curse them...weren't they the ones who told me to tell her how I feel?

I'm going to sleep now...

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Sorry for not writing in a while. But Koizumi told me a few days ago that she'd go back to the way we were...and I was okay with that, I suppose. But then while we were on vacation for the school trip...we met Umibozu in person while looking for Koizumi's purse which she lost. I was so happy about that. But then Koizumi suddenly said she wasn't giving up after all...and though I thought her timing was odd, I was somewhat...relieved that she was back to her old persistent self. No more 'manly tears' for me for quite a while.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Today I saw Kanzaki again at the Christmas party since I went this time, but brought Koizumi along...and it was weird. I feel odd when I'm around Kanzaki, but it's different from how I used to be. It's not because I'm still not over her...it's because my feelings for her are pretty much gone and she acts like she still likes me. She asked me if I could see her again because there was something she wanted to talk about...and I had a feeling I knew what it was. I thought about Koizumi...and then I declined her offer. I didn't want to cost Koizumi any more tears. So then I left it at that and went to find Koizumi, because as soon as I started talking to Kanzaki, Koizumi rushed out the door. She was, in fact, crying again. So I tried to comfort her, and I think it worked, I dunno, she's confusing.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Haven't written in a few days because there's nothing to write about...

Argh! I keep on losing control of the pen...because I can't stop having sudden sneezing attacks...maybe I'm getting sick...I hope not, maybe it's just allergies...because I'm going to see Umibozu with Koizumi the day after today.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

It's Sunday morning, and I woke up to find out I am sick...I'm barely even thinking straight right now, everything's a complete fog...I woke up with a rag on my forehead and a thermometer shoved in my mouth, I knew what was going on...at first I didn't believe it, but then I looked in the mirror and saw how flushed and exhausted I looked, and realized it hurt my throat to speak, I then believed it. My face feels so hot that it might just catch on fire, but I'm getting chills throughout the rest of my body...it's weird. My throat's a bit better, but my fever is still really high, and I'm not feeling so great...like I might pass out...

- Atsushi Ota

---

Dear Journal,

I always end up not finishing my signature, don't I? Heh.

Right now, I'm a little better despite the fact that I still have a fever, but it isn't as bad as it was.

Mom is by my side, but she's asleep. So I must have completely blacked out while I was writing my journal entry a few hours ago and didn't wake up until now. But I'm not getting too much better, so unless by some miracle, I'm okay tomorrow, I'm gonna have to call in sick, so I can't make it to school. I thought of how funny it would be if Koizumi was so worried about me that she'd get my information and come stalk me...but naw, that wouldn't happen, it's just my weird thoughts.

She's crazy, but not so crazy that she'd go to an extreme like that.

- Atsushi Otani (I'm glad I finished my signature this time.)

---

Dear Journal,

It's creepy.

Very creepy.

Just what I suspected...

Koizumi really did come to my house!

But I passed out while she was here, so it's midnight again and I'm making a late-night journal.

Gonna make it quick so I don't get caught staying up late and writing. But what the heck, I got plenty of sleep in the daytime already, so I'll be fine. No need for them to worry about loss of sleep. But anyway, I woke up to see Koizumi, and I was really shocked. It turns out she got directions to my house from Nakao. But anyhow, I remember her giving me a bag of oranges and peeling them, then asking her all my questions I had about how she likes me...but then I completely blacked out. Makes me wonder what she did after I blacked out.

- Atsushi Otani


	5. More drama with Koizumi

Dear Journal,

Sorry for not writing in a couple days.

Only a few days after the Umibozu concert and Koizumi's in a bad mood again, and it's apparently my fault. What did I do this time, huh?! Sheesh...

Anyway, I'm well again, so looking at my entries from when I was in a fog made me laugh. I'm glad I don't always sound that stupid.

I looked and saw that on one of them, I said I didn't want to be caught making a "Late-night journal"! Ha! Whatever that means. I think I meant "Late-night entry". I had a 'durr' moment. That's what I like to call it. Durr moments are just when I say or do stupid stuff. That's how I describe it. Just remember that it's code, because I use it a lot...not that it applies to me all the time though! Only sometimes it does...only sometimes...like my 'pickled radishes can't turn into crabs' statement...I didn't explain that earlier, but I don't care. I'm too lazy to explain, because sadly, even I can't really explain that though it was my own words.

Anyway, you know...I feel like nobody even knows how hard I'm trying to be Koizumi's friend, and I still want to be there for her...just not as her boyfriend...

It's not like it's impossible that I could start to develop feelings for her in the future. It could happen...but not yet. These things take time...I'm not really sure of how I feel.

I'm trying to come up with a way to explain my reasoning, but I guess I'm still not making any sense...sigh.

Oh well...

At this point, I've just gotta do what I feel in my gut that I should do...I guess I should just continue to be her friend...

This problem is because of what I believe.

I do like Koizumi. But...it's only a very small crush.

I don't think a relationship can go all that well unless the two love each other...and all I've got is this minor crush...so I don't know if it's such a good idea.

The height complex isn't...too much of a problem. I wouldn't care what people thought.

But the problem is...me.

Heheh, I really changed the topic and rambled on, didn't I?

I kinda had a bit of a 'Durr' moment just now, because I don't think anybody even understands what I'm getting at.

Oh well. I'm really tired. I'm gonna end it here. 'Night.

- Atsushi Otani (Yes! I finished my signature! Oh yeah~ oh yeah~ I said Otani~ and not Ota~ oh yeah~ go me~ go m

---

Dear Journal,

Daaaw, man...I was so close to finishing last night. I finished my name, sure, but not my sentence. Durr moment...

I guess in reality, I do have a lot of those durr moments...eheh. But whatever, I guess everyone has thsoe. Just like right now. I spelled 'those' like 'thsoe' by accident...and this is permanent pen. I knew I should have used a penclil! I mean...pencil. I'm having problems...but oh well, I'm only human. Or am I...? Maybe I'm an alien from the 100th century traveling in time! Who's, uh, also half-cyborg! With cool sunglasses! Oh wait, that has nothing to do with anything, I'll just get to the point now.

To put this whole day shortly...

Koizumi's still mad at me for whatever reason, then she met this Maitake(or MAITY as she calls him, but I think that nickname's gross.) guy who's disgusting, she likes him now though I don't see why, that made me angry, he's a creep, he's subsituting as a basketball coach for our team, he outplayed me, I moped, and oh forget it I'm going to sleep. 'Night.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Maitake continues to outplay me, and it's really getting to me...how is this happening? I'm not really at my best right now, I guess.

Today...Koizumi really got angry at me. At first, she went balistic because I said there was rice in her hair when she came over, then...she said something like..."That grain of rice wasn't what you took, what you took from me was my first kiss"...but I don't understand...she's hallucinating...that must be it.

So then she starts crying again...

But then...

Out of nowhere, she grabbed me. Then, before I knew it...

She had kissed me by force.

I couldn't believe it.

I asked "What did you do that for?!" and then, her exact words were...

"I'm through with loving you!" With that, she ran out the door.

I wondered if I had heard her right. I thought over her words and everything she could have said that I could have mistaken that for...

But then I knew that it was what she had really said. No doubt about it.

Then I felt as if I didn't want her to give up...

Then, I considered the fact that this had completely ruined our friendship.

I wouldn't allow that. Koizumi really is very important. Without that friendship, things wouldn't seem right.

So then I thought..."I'm going to tell her, Koizumi, you're really important to me. Couldn't we still be friends? Then maybe all will be forgiven...because things can't go on like this."

So that's what I decided I would do.

I ran as fast as I could to the door, threw it open and called her name...

And I looked around the corner...

She was in the embrace of Maity himself, crying on his shoulder. His hand was on her head. I wanted to say something...but I froze there. Then, I just decided there was nothing I could do. She is really in love with Maitake now. I have to watch my friend be swept up in a crush on a guy that's way older than her that will only set her up for dissapointment...but I guess I had set her up for dissapointment too in the end. I have a feeling things won't work out for her again, and all I can do is watch. By now...I'm probably completely out of Koizumi's life.

And I can't help but wonder if I should have done something.

What good would it have done if I did interfere, though? Just make Koizumi angrier at me, probably.

I guess all I could do was let it go...

- Atsushi Otani


	6. The drama continues

Dear Journal,

Guess what?

Koizumi started the 'Maity Club' now! Which is completely pointless. I hate watching Koizumi stray to the 'dark side' like this...ugh.

I've gotta stop her somehow...but I can't, really. Short entry, sorry. But I'm gonna leave it at that. 'Night.

- Atsushi Otani

Dear Journal,

Today, I lost against Maitake again. This is really frustrating.

But then...I said something that really wasn't nessecary.

Maitake kept bugging me about how Koizumi likes me...I know that. He didn't need to remind me.

So then he told me 'Do something or I'll take her for myself' and then that made me really angry. I don't know why I said this...but I did.

"Do what you want! It's not like I like Koizumi or anything!"

Which isn't true...as I've stated before, I actually think I do like her...

But...I just wanted to get him off my back...

Then I realized one detail.

Koizumi was standing right there.

I said that right to her face, and it's not even true.

I'm really depressed right now...I'm going to end it here.

- Atsushi Otani

Dear Journal,

I didn't write in a few days because I didn't see the point.

Anyway, today, I guess I really screwed up. I tripped over the basketball in practice today and injured my foot...even though it's only a minor injury, I must look pretty stupid limping around and dragging my foot. Koizumi apparently took notice of this, so later, she offered to take me home on a double-seated bike. At first, I thought it looked childish and said I could walk on my own...even though it would have tired me out. Then that disgusting Maitake wanted to take me home, so naturally I refused. Then he offered to take Koizumi home. Then I couldn't stand it. I grabbed Koizumi's arm and yelled "Listen here, I'm the one she likes! She'd never fall for someone like you!" Then, I told Koizumi to take me home. She didn't understand, but took me anyway. You know, I don't understand why I did that either. I guess because I can't stand him...but it kind of just slipped out. I guess things tend to 'slip out' of my mouth a lot.

I was really angry at him though...

Then Koizumi cleared up that I'm apparently not the one she likes anymore.

I know that...and I'll admit that it stings a bit to hear it from Koizumi herself...just a bit.

But then, we got busted by the police for riding tandem. Not any fun at all.

'Night.

- Atsushi Otani

Dear Journal,

I haven't been this angry in a while!

And I don't even know why I'm angry!

Okay, maybe I do and just don't want to talk about it...

You know why, I'm sure.

MAITAKE!

He drives me insane!

He's like a father to Koizumi but she likes him, and it's disgusting.

It drives me mad...

I dunno. I'm just having serious mood swings right now. I'm so sick of hearing 'It's all part of being a teenager' from everyone I talk to! They don't understand! That may be true, I guess, but not what I want to hear.

Everyone's driving me insane...

Maitake, Haruka, and just...everyone!

I'm going to bed...

- Atsushi Otani

Dear Journal,

Today, Koizumi took me on the double-seated bike again. I decided to go along with it this time...but I pedalled instead.

So then, things started to get a bit less tense...and I was really happy. It was the first time I had actually laughed in a while...then I started considering if I really did like Koizumi a little more than I thought...but then she said these exact words. "I know I've said a lot that's troubled you up until now...but I won't say any more. Seriously, for real this time, I'm really going to stop liking you."

I didn't know how to react...so I didn't say anything. I just acted like she hadn't said anything...

If that's what she wants...then I'll go along with it. I've done so much to her that's troubled her as well...so she deserves to be happy.

I do want to see her be happy again.

So...I can't complain.

- Atsushi Otani

Dear Journal,

I'm up and running again since my foot's fine now!

And I won against Maitake, finally. I'm victorious at last.

Since the basketball comp is this weekend, I'm really looking forward to it. Bring it on, whoever's challenging us!

Koizumi decided to make me lemons in honey to cheer me on. But I'm scared of what it'll taste like. So I'm looking forward to the game hoping that Koizumi's lemons in...well, whatever kind of liquid she decides to subsitute for honey, knowing her...anyway, I'm hoping that whatever they're in, they won't make me sick, ha! But oh well, I'll eat them anyway because I know that she tries hard.

- Atsushi Otani

Dear Journal,

This isn't good. Not good at all.

Our challengers...are last year's champions!

So there's no way that we'll make it to the finals like I hoped...

I can't believe this.

Now it doesn't matter if I eat Koizumi's mystery lemons.

We're gonna lose anyway.

- Atsushi Otani

Dear Journal,

The match went somewhat well today, I'm content with it.

When I met the challengers, they were really huge.

I lost all spirit. But thanks to Koizumi, I regained my confidence. She came to cheer for me, and worked on her 'Otani club' headwear and sign all night, according to what she said. That was kind of embarrassing, but I appreciated it anyway because she worked so hard on it.

I played a good game, I must say. Even though we lost.

But oh well.

It's thanks to Koizumi for still cheering for me, though my team had no hope of winning, she did it anyway.

So then me and Koizumi sat on a bench in the park and I daringly ate the lemons. It turns out I was right, she apparently didn't have any honey and subsituted rice wine for it.

It was disgusting.

But disgustingly delicious. I can't describe it.

I guess...uh...it had that 'homemade' touch. It's the thought that counts, heheh.

So anyway, moving on...

She told me that she's fallen for me again...and I feel somewhat relieved for some reason.

So then, I told her not to give up on me...and I also said this.

"I guess I'm just no good without you, Koizumi."

I couldn't really believe I had just said that, but I didn't take it back...because it's the truth.

Then I look, and she's not even listening. She fell asleep.

It couldn't be helped...oh well. She did stay up all night after all.

Then, she leaned a little to the left...and ended up leaning on my shoulder. I couldn't help but smile. It was then that it hit me.

No uncertainty anymore...

I really do like Koizumi.

- Atsushi Otani

---

***Author's note...**

**Thanks for reading up until now. I'm about at the halfway point of the story.**

**I do notice that I skipped a few parts of the series, like the honmei chocolate episode, but oh well...XD It was just now that I started watching it over and writing events as I watch it. That works a little better.**

**It's really fun to be in Otani character, I love it!**

**Also, if people like it from here on, when I finish writing his view on events in the series, I could write journal entries from things that I assume would happen after the series. Tell me if I should.**

**Thanks!**

**-Superchibi**

**P.S --**

**Koizumi: FALCON PAAAWNCH!**

**I just had to. XDD**

**Oh yeah, to those of you who took the part about the lemons wrong...no intended refrence to, um, THAT kind of lemon. XDD Actual lemons, I mean. I know it sounds a little wrong if you think of it that way, lol...* **


	7. Certainty

Dear Journal,

I'm really tired, so I'm not going to go way into detail tonight.

Anyway...in a few days, it's gonna be Koizumi's birthday, and I've really been thinking about things...

Remembering Koizumi's confession...that day when we watched the fireworks...

And feeling so...riled up remembering it.

I guess I can't deny the fact that I like Koizumi anymore...because no matter how much I try and deny it, I know that it's true.

I feel different when I'm with her now.

Back when I was unsure of my feelings, she drove me insane, but I still knew she was a good person and that she was actually a good friend of mine. But I couldn't think of her as more than a friend.

Now, it's changed a bit. When I'm with her, I hide it, but I actually feel a bit more excited when we talk now.

I guess I ended up going into detail anyway, heh.

Oh well. I'll admit...that I get a little bit more lively when I think of her. Just a little.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

For real this time, I'm tired and gonna make this quick.

I guess Koizumi doesn't want anything from me for her birthday, so whatever, I'm not gonna waste my money on something she doesn't want.

'Night.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

I was tempted to get Koizumi something today, but I ended up not doing it.

Because I went to the jewerly store with Suzuki and Nakao and that didn't help our manly images.

I found something perfect for her, but ended up not buying it. Whatever. She didn't want anything.

- Atsushi Otani

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Dear Journal,

I'm...kinda freaking out at the moment.

I got something for Koizumi and she was happy in the end, so it's all good...

But also...

I couldn't help it, and I...

Uhm...

Okay, here's how it went.

At first...my mom wouldn't let me out of the house for a while because I had to do the dishes, so I was kinda late.

Then, I went back to the jewelry store and stood there for a while, wondering if I should get it or not...

Then I just got it and tried to ignore all the girls staring at the sole guy in the whole store, which was me.

Anyway, I was wondering if I was gonna make it to her party...but I ran there as fast as I could anyway, because I had to make it for her. Even though I tripped on my shoelaces and fell on my face a few times, I made pretty good time.

The fireworks were going off again, and all Koizumi's friends were looking at the fireworks. I made it up there as quickly and quietly as I could, because if Koizumi's friends knew that I got her that necklace, they'd tease me to no end for weeks, I figured.

So I made it up there and stood there for a minute, looking at the fireworks...and maybe recalling some memories...

Then I finally decided it was time to text Koizumi so that I could get her attention.

Then I felt really odd as she came up to me. I was so...nervous. I had never been that nervous around Koizumi before.

Whenever she said something, her sentences repeated over and over in my head...and I couldn't stop staring at her...she actually isn't as ugly as I thought.

So I gave her the necklace and she really liked it, as I thought she might.

I thought I would be less nervous then...but I still felt so tense.

Then...I couldn't take it anymore...and I...

Uh...

Kissed her.

I was wondering why I did that all of the sudden, but I couldn't take it anymore. I hid it as much as I could and kept my cool, but on the inside, my stomach was doing flips.

She seemed really shocked, and at first I was afraid that she didn't want me to kiss her...

But then she was a bit more happy about it.

So...as you can imagine, I'm pretty much going insane at the moment.

So it's a really dumb question whether I like Koizumi or not now. That's not even a question.

- Atsushi Otani


	8. Finally together

Dear Journal,

Oh man...a day after and Koizumi's already just about ready to tell the world with that big mouth of hers all about...uh...this and that...

But she's acting like a total airhead because of 'this and that' and seems so happy...and it's all kind of hard to process, but...when she looks that happy and smiles like that...for once, I think it's kind of...cute...? Is that the word to describe it? I usually wouldn't describe her as cute, but it works in this situation, I think.

As much as I try to hide it...I'm as happy as she is, though I don't express it like she does by skipping around town and flailing my arms around like an idiot.

But anyway...I had a long conversation with Koizumi about what happened last night and how she shouldn't tell anyone about it...and that was very awkward to talk about, because I got that feeling like my face was on fire, but of course I wouldn't tell anyone that outside of this journal.

But the embarrassing part is...

All Koizumi's friends and the guys heard the whole thing. They were apparently eavesdropping from upstairs.

Urgh...

Gaaaahh! I'm gonna end it here, my sister's spacing out and throwing my favorite shirt into the washing machine! It's handwash only! I'll go more into detail later. THAT SHIRT IS FROM MY GRANDMAAAA~!

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

I'm kinda annoyed.

Koizumi and I went to eat again today and I gave her a ticket to the world championships. (well actually, more like I let her know I had it and we were going together, because I had suspicions that she'd probably lose it or something like that due to her forgetfulness so I kept it for her). But anyway, then she ran into someone she apparently hadn't seen in a while.

So then he asked if we were together, and she was pretty quick to say "Ah, no, we're just friends!"

And then her friend said "Of course, I remember, you did always say you wouldn't want a guy who's shorter than you as your boyfriend."

That wasn't exactly the part that annoyed me, even if it did kind of sting.

How can we be 'just friends' as she puts it, even after...'this and that'?

She asked me if I was angry, and...I lied, 'Not really'.

She then brought up that she said the stuff about not wanting a boyfriend shorter than her a while ago, then, I was really close to saying "You...! I'm more to you than a friend, right?!" but I ended up not finishing my sentence, I just got up and left. I'm kind of wondering if I should have actually said that...agghh! I'm confused!

Ugh...'night.

- Atsushi Otani

---

Dear Journal,

Today, Koizumi and I went on our first date.

I have a feeling this will be a long entry, heheh.

So at first, Koizumi was really late, but that's okay, because it gave me a lot of time to think things over. I was thinking things like...

'Since Koizumi likes me back...wouldn't it only make sense for her to be my girlfriend? I don't care what others say about how strange we look together...I like her and that's all that matters. So today...I'll figure out some way to surprise her with the fact that I want her to be my girlfriend when I get the opportunity...somehow.'

So then she finally came. Then she made a big deal over how she forgot her handbag, so it's sure a good thing I held onto her ticket.

Anyway, so then when we got there, it was all amazing! But Koizumi didn't seem to enjoy it very much. She wasn't really paying much attention, and she kept on sighing over and over...so I pulled her off to the side to talk to her.

Then she started crying all of the sudden, and just over how she forgot her handbag. I dunno, I don't understand girls very much.

So then, I don't know how I got the idea to tell her, but I decided to tell her about last time at the resturant about what made me angry.

I didn't say it as calmly as I would have liked, but...I told her straight-forwardly, "I wouldn't kiss a girl who I considered 'just a friend'!"

Then, I thought that this could maybe link to how I wanted to tell her that I wanted her as my girlfriend...but I could never get around to that because I was kind of beating around the bush. I guess I was kind of nervous...even though I don't know why. I'm sure she likes me, so I'm not sure why that was so nerve-wrecking for me.

So then...she starts crying again...and then she suddenly repeats out of the blue, "I like you!" and she continued to say the same thing over and over. "I really like you, Otani! I love you! I'm in love with you!" and I was honestly kind of shocked about her timing...and oh man, I must have looked like a loser. I thought I was going to die. My face was practically burning off. I tried to stop her on reflex, by yelling "I get it!" but she persisted as always, and I'm kind of glad she did, honestly...then, she repeated, "I love you!" and I said "I know". Then she asked me this one question: "And you love me too...right, Otani?!" I don't know why I took so long to answer, because I was sure of what I was going to say...but I was trying to process it all, so I got kind of flustered...and I finally replied with "Yes" but it came out as "Mm". I was hoping that wasn't too much of a nonchalant answer, because I did mean it, but...aaagh, whatever, blame it on my dialect...but she was satisfied, so it's all good, I think.

Then, we realized...

We were being watched on the display screen the whole time by everyone in the stadium! We got filmed!

I acted like I was really embarrassed about it...but actually, I didn't mind that much. I was actually kind of...happy about what had just happened, so I wasn't thinking about being filmed. Not like anyone I know was there, except for Mimi and Kanzaki, but I don't care if they saw.

Anyway, so then she told me "You've stolen my heart, Otani. It's not fair. I want to steal yours too." and this just slipped out of my mouth, "Idiot, mine's not easy to steal." I thought that over, and I was thinking, 'Who am I kidding? She's already stolen it...just a little bit...' so I basically...kinda...lied because I was flustered.

Anyway, so then I told her to get me some juice if she wanted to 'steal my heart', so she went. I found myself staring after her, and wondered why I've been denying that I've fallen for her all this time.

Then, I saw Kanzaki. She apparently came with the giant since they got back together.

Then I turned around because Kanzaki pointed out that there was 'someone there'.

So there was Koizumi, and she was all groveled on the floor for what I thought was 'for whatever reason', but it turns out that she blistered her foot because she wore shoes and clothes that she wasn't used to.

So then I told Kanzaki that I would handle it, and she asked what Koizumi's name was again because she forgot.

So then I figured...'That's my opportunity right there.' and said, "Koizumi Risa...she's my girlfriend." the time was also right, because I could tell that Koizumi was probably confused since I was talking to Kanzaki again, because she was obviously on the brink of tears at the moment.

Then I cleared up to her that Kanzaki's back with the giant.

She asked if I was okay with having a girlfriend like her...then I started to understand her a little more. Maybe that's why she was crying because she lost her handbag...

So then I told her, "This happened because you got carried away and wore clothes you aren't used to." then she said just a few words that just so happened to 'steal my heart' a little more. "This is our first date though. I wanted to look a little cuter for you...just a little!"

So then afterwards, Koizumi cried the entire time, through the entire championships. Honestly, she cries over the smallest things. But oh well, that's okay, I don't mind. I'll admit I can be overdramatic too, so I can't really talk.

But now, I'm glad that she's finally back to how she normally is.

If she's happier...I'm a lot happier too.

- Atsushi Otani

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**(Author's note: Ahh~ only a few more chapters to go and I'll have written Otani entries for the whole series! I feel so accomplished o Lol. I may be going a bit over-the-top with the whole thing of Otani falling for Koizumi, but I'm going for making him a little easier to understand. XD I'm also considering doing entries for an assumption of what happens after the series to draw it out a little more, because whenever I finish a fanfic, I start to miss it. ;-; But I love being in Otani character, because it's something new. XD It's a little bit hard to make him actually sound like a guy since I'm a girl and all, but it's still really fun to do it from his point of view lol. So yeah~ hope you guys like it so far! Please keep the feedback coming, I really appreciate it.**

**- Superchibi)**


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